Fun facts...
There are 201 days until your due date on February 01, 2010.
You are 79 days pregnant.
You are 2.6 months pregnant.
You are in your 3rd month of pregnancy.
Your 1st trimester: April 27, 2009 to July 26, 2009. (0 - 12 weeks)
Your 2nd trimester: July 27, 2009 to November 08, 2009. (13 - 27 weeks)
Your 3rd trimester: November 09, 2009 to February 01, 2010. (28 - 40 weeks)

Your baby continues to grow and is now approximately the size of a large lime! The crown-to-rump length of your developing child is 1.75 to 2.4 inches. The weight of the fetus is approximately 8 grams at this point. The growth of your baby is phenomenal now and your baby's length will double in the next three weeks. The head is grossly out of proportion and is almost half of the baby's length.

This is the last week of the embryonic period. From now on, your baby will be called a fetus. Your baby's fingernails appear this week! External genitalia are beginning to show distinguishing features and the development of male or female will be complete in three weeks. The placenta's blood vessels increase to provide your baby with the nutrients and oxygen he needs for continued growth. Your baby's ears are gradually moving from the neck towards the sides of his head. Inside of your baby's abdomen, the intestines are developing. Because the intestines are so large, some of them project into the umbilical cord and they will return to the abdomen within the next week or two.

At the size of a plumb, your baby is now able to swallow. The urinary system functions. The baby swallows and urinates the amniotic fluid and the fluid is continually replaced. The baby is kicking but the mother probably won't feel it yet. All vital organs are formed and, for the most part, function normally. From now on, they will grow in size and efficiency.

Yeay baby! Doctors at 1pm today. Heartbeat please.

Lovely weekend in Moncton with relatives. Back yard fire pit party with loads of food and beer. Drunk relatives are hillarious.
I spoke with my Aunt for a long while, she was so relieved when I told her I was pregnant, her damn head nearly exploded. She said, thank God you finally said something, your mother told me 6 weeks ago but swore me to secrecy and that was hardest secret I have had to keep cause I am so excited. She told me that as she was thinking of me and Evan these past months, she was thinking how her mother, my grandmother, had 12 children and only 10 lived. Her first, a baby boy was stillborn. We both found this sadly ironic that as her granddaughter I would encounter the same fate. Anyhow she then had 10 more babie before having a son die in bed with her at home 3 weeks after birth, my mom remembers this clear as can be. She has one more living child after that one. In total giving birth to 8 daughter and 4 sons, and having only 2 of 4 sons live. That women suffered alot of hardship in her lifetime and I can completly identify with her social anxiety and heavy drinking now. I could have so easily found myself there. Here's hoping and praying I never do.

On that note, 11 weeks has come and gone, I was feeling so much better and then the nausea came back to rear it's ugly head today. One thing has changed and that is rather then being turned off by all food, I am ravenously hungry, However, I still only want to stuff my face with certain foods, and am still partial to cold foods. I have been gorging myself on this awesome pasta salad with balsamic, bocconchini and fresh basil, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Things that have made me sick this week: cheesburger, chicken wings, chicken burger and fries and gravy, Basically junk food and meat are on my do not eat list.

Still feeling fluttering in the belly. It comes and goes. Dr. tommorow, I hope and pray they will be able to pick up the heartbeat on the doppler, she said the earliest they can is 11 weeks, so here's hoping. They were able to get Evan's heartbeat at 11 weeks and I was in awe. Otherwise I will have to wait until the 22nd and I need reassurance now. More reassurance then my stomach expanding along with my appetite and the fluttering in my belly. Should the heartbeat be easily detected tommorow, I will go public everywhere, if not I will wait until after next Wednesday's ultrasound.

Last night all I wanted was Dairy Queen Skor blizzard. Then eating it made me sick, to sweet and caused indigestion. No more blizzards for me.
This morning I was devastated (truly) to realize I was out of cereal. I had somehow forgotten I threw out the empty package yesterday morning, and my brain and belly believe there was more. I really almost cried, its the only breakfast I like right now. Instead I managed to convince my body avocado on toast would be just as good. I liked the avocado but have an aversion to the smell of toast this pregnancy, I opened the window and turned on the kitchen fan to make the toast. I made one for Dave too. He said it was so sweet it made him want to hump my leg? I think he needs to be spending less time at the dog park yo. Anyways. Dave decided to put ketchup on his toast and avocado(gross) but instead dropped the whole damn thing on the floor and the dog had it for breakfast. I gave him mine and made another, I told him no ketchup this time, his delicious healthy breakfast had jumped off the plate last time to avoid the perils of gross ketchup. 

Then I ate mine but as suspected didn't like the toast, so avocado straight up it was. I don't think it's enough but there is nothing else I want to eat. I guess I will have a few slices of cheese. This is a problem. I need to keep myself nourished or I get sick fast, I panic to make sure I bring enough food to work to snack on all day. Crazy.

Ok shower time. Headed to my mom's tonight for a weekend getaway.

Ok now I KNOW I felt the baby moving, for sure. Before I thought maybe but then maybe it was just gas, this is not gas and I felt it alot more last night. Like light fluttering all around and then occasionally along the front wall of my uturus, like a little swimming fish would feel, almost a tickle even. I somehow just know when I feel it that it's the wee one :) and that makes me happy, cause that has GOT to be a good sign of health :)

Got my letter, my fetal assessment/ultrasound is on July 22nd, I will be 13 weeks, I am sooooo surprised that is the first time they want to see me, but ok, that's in 2 weeks, fine. I just expected they would be all over me because of the whole Lupus Anticoagulant thing. All along they have been like oh well, there is no boarderline, (I was just over the cut off for lupus anticoagulant to be an issue) there is only yes or no and you are yes. We recommend Lovenox/Heparin for second  and third trimester as well as for 6 weeks post partum. Then at Evan's autopsy results, when the coroner said to everyone, he saw nothing at all to lead him to believe it had anything to do with blood clotting issues, they said, well we will re-evaluate the need for Heparin this pregnancy and discuss if it's worth taking as a preventative measure anyways. Thus I expected they would want to talk about this around 11 weeks or so, before actually crossing into the second trimester. Guess not. 
 
I am torn and don't know what to do, which is why I need to sit down and discuss it with a medical proffesional who knows. My OB dosen't know which is why she reffered me to the specialist for this stuff. If the ultrasound shows all is well growth wise and dates match, and furthur ultrasounds show the same, I am tempted to just say obviously an aspirin a day is working fine (since I had nothing with Evan, since we didn't know the condition existed and hello, he was nearly 8lbs and 21 inches, not growth restricted) however, if it really does increase my chances of bringing home a living baby then give me the damn needles so I can shoot myself up. Anything for this child, anything......

Well I guess I just wait now, I do see my doctor on the 14th and she did think she should be able to find the heartbeat on the dopler then so i guess that will help ease my mind a little. I just need to see this baby and know it's heart is beating, or at least hear it. I feel like I have been waiting a million years already, and the 22nd feels so far away. At least that will be done before Dave's mom arrives on the 25th though :)

Today, my pants don't fit, I had to do them up with an elastic band adding an extra 1.5 inches to the waist. Also I almost puked in front of my boss. We were chatting, I had a nausea wave come over me and I had to turn away and try hard not to gag. So I decided the time has come to tell her, so I did :) She is so very happy for me, she knows all we have been through and like everyone else she said, "Oh Jaime this time will be differant, this new baby will be fine and you will be the mom you were born to be."

I hope and pray so deeply and thoroughly that everyone's optimism is right. I need this baby to make it so badly. My arms are aching to hold a child. I am 32 years old and I thought waiting until I was happy and stable was the best thing to do, now at 32 I think, I have 3 years left to make baby's ( I would like to be done by 35) I never thought it would be this hard. I have always known I was meant to be a mom, and now I know more then ever that without a child, I will never be complete. I will never feel fullfilled. I need a child to love and rear and adore and dote on and raise. Dave and I are the most natural parent's I know, both of us despret to have little ones running around.

Please God, God's, Budha, whatever or whoever you might beleive in, or I might, please help me through the next 7 months and help me to get this child into my arms alive and breathing, I will never take another thing for granted ever again. I will be the most greatful mother of any mother who ever was a mother. (ok maybe only as much as anyone else who has lost a child and knows how precious the gift of a rainbow baby is),

Oh God help me, I am only 10.5 weeks in losing my mind. Last night I took Dave way...outta the way all the way out to Bedford for my Chiropractic appointment  that didn't exist until next Monday. Then I stopped at the grocery store to get the shampoo that I so despretly needed, and since it was on sale I got 2 bottles. This morning as I wondered why my conditioner was sudsing, I realized I now have 3 bottles of shampoo and 0 bottles of conditioner. Lovely.

Last night I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30pm and was still exausted this morning at 7am, I guess 10.5 hours a night of sleep is not enough anymore.

Although my skin is currently nowhere near as bad as it has been in weeks past, my friends 7 year old daughter asked me if I had the chicken pox last night :)

Ok off to accomplish some work.

Since I accidentally posted last night's pregnancy update on my open friends list instead of just to the limited friends I have been open with I decided what the hell. I am out of the pregnancy closet on LJ. NOT everywere else in life and not on facebook for another 1.5 weeks or so, or until I feel ready to go public. So ya here I am 10 weeks 3 days into pregnancy two. Trying to be hopful and certainly happy.

That is all. Carry on.

I am soooo nauseous yesterday and today, gagging all over the damn place, it sucks. I have no desire to eat most anything but am starving, it sucks. I am just forcing myself to have a few bites here and there, litterally, I have been finishing bits and pieces of my meals.

I most just want to eat simple bland food, to much flavour or to much smell more specifically is way overwhelming.
I am baking two loaves of banana bread right now and they smell perfectly delicious though. Fruit and bread are two things I still like.
I unfortunatly hate all forms of meat and seafood and now even alot of vegetables cause they give me indigestion. I bought plain yogurt to make breakfast smoothies, however ceral is ok as well, like last pregnancy I have a strong prefferance for cold foods. I am in love with my Good For You breakfast cereal thing, it's from Sweden and a mix of oats, rice and dried fruit. Yesterday at the farmers market Dave picked up local free range eggs and nitrate free bacon and he cooked us up what would typically be a delicious breakfast fry up but today it made me hurl. sigh!

I hope the end of the first trimested sees and end to this nausea as well, I miss enjoying food. The smell of everything makes me sick.

The smell of my dog makes me sick, he smell like puppy, I need to give him a bath but  he hates being wet (outside swimming of course) and it's been raining here for like a month straight, so I keep putting off bathing him for a sunny day, so he can run outside and dry off. The sunny day never comes and I can't cuddle my puppy without feeling sick from his smell. Dave says it's just me, that he smells fine. Blah!